Thursday, February 4, 2010

When Revenge Becomes Actual Damage

Seeing Skeleton for more then the average 45 min. killed me. When I got to practice I couldn't regain the slightest bit of me-ness. I went through serious pain which spread throughout my whole body. I couldn't even bear to see him. I was seriously fighting back dry sobs during the first hour or so of practice. The Sun and Ocean noticed. The Ocean tried to help and he did just not so properly when he said "suck it up." that method doesn't work with this! I've tried! I know I said my heart wasn't bound to anyone, (Maybe Journey but that's one hell of a special case) but he had passed my guard before so he could/can again. Basically all those who have in the passed 25% of them still can. Only the ones who really mattered.

A text he sent Gangtserlicious gave me hope that he still had feelings for me. Ha. I wonder if he sees me rotting from the inside out. I wonder he cares. I know he is also fighting but really...
Im mellow at this point though, since at guard practice...

A) I hit the Guard Captain - It was an accident but it felt so good. She cried. Did I mention it felt good?

B) I saw Electric Blue. (Otherwise known as the Drummer Boy) he is a crush that fades and leaves. It began my Sophomore year. Meh! He is a humble version of Prince. He is currently in an unhappy relationship. Those blue eyes look so sad sometimes...

(BTW. ORCHID = THE SUN) Gave her two codenames. XD ahhhh!

Currently talking to Mohinder about the pain me and Gangsterlicous felt today. At the Creative Writers Club where Skeleton was, we were both well....depressed. Though we both have hope, this is how we cope. We drown in our pain till we can breathe under it. We even call ourselves Poseidon's Daughters. XD! Though Gangsterlicous, The Sun, and I are the Dark Princesses. (Gotta admit that sounds rather cuuute) but yeah. Meh. Seem's like he hasn't been doing to well either. The guy touched my inner thigh at the Academy thingy O.o;

Which leads to Old Rival. He even got so comfortable with me that he laid his legs onto mine. Does that mean anything?!

Evil Spawn. She not the same. Her vibes aren't the same anymore. I can't quite describe them. Will try to update them next time.

I also think that The Sun deserves someone sweeter. The Ocean is too brash...I wanted to snap his neck yesterday. I have this 'male' alter ego from which my nickname 'Jin' truly came from* and some the things that happened made the male in me want to snap The Sun away and comfort her, taking her away from the harm he was obviously causing her. Like that one romantic anime dude who sweeps the pretty innocent anime girl away!

*(An experience in which I dressed in male clothes, almost made a gay male bi and was accepted and warmly became family with the gays/lesbians/bi's of my school. However I feel inclined to state that I never did anything with any of them. I consider myself to be straight.)

Anywho, the weekend is almost here. I can't wait to sleep. That five hour practice Wednesday and the emotional distress really has had me worn out! I just had to blog and all the stuff thats been up. Ciao!

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